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A penis in your coffee in definitely worth blogging about.
(That's Shaft. I wish I could stop having to clarify that. JUST GET MY FUNNY JOKE YOU GUYS.)
While we're on the topic of penis, let's have a word from our sponsor Dr. Steve Brule*.


*Dr. Steve Brule is not affiliated with this blog in any way/shape/form. It would obviously be heaps funnier if he was.

mind map catastrophe

I have been given an amazing opportunity to potentially live and work in Sweden, in my dream job, for a few years as of next year. Part of my application is a three page summary of my research and where I would like to take it. I am finding this extremely difficult so I thought I would draw up a flow-chart/mind-map/flow of consciousness style diagram of all the things I really care about and would like to do in my research career. This is the result. Which has led me to the conclusion that I possess high levels of insanity and would perhaps be better suited to kindergarten teaching or just being very quiet for a very long time.

loganberry

I guess I don't blog enough so here are some recent photos of things I have done or eaten or seen in no particular order. Blog about Sweden and New York coming soon (I know, you can't wait right?!).

I ate this (crepes suzette):

And this (pate):

And also this (3 cheese souffle):

This raised the bloody bar in terms of male hotness:

I cried at work like this:

Over this:

Got obsessed with this:

Took Hansie for walks in the sunshine, when it appeared:

Baked this lemon meringue triumph:

Found this old and amazingly excellent photo of me and my Dad:

I gave her my heart. She gave me a pen.

So, I personally vanquished the ash cloud and made it out of the country.

First flight (ADL to SIN) was fucked gay. I was in an extra leg room row but surrounded by idiots. The little kid behind me kicked my chair the whole way and then projectile vomited on it.

I bought a bobbi brown blush in Singapore airport which is the wrong shade for me. I don't know why I bought it.

Singapore to Helsinki flight was somewhat better except I got seated next to some young Lithuanian guy who obviously thought he was in with a fighting chance and fucking chewed my ear off until i groaned loudly and put my headphones on. He tried to interrupt me to talk more and make me drink with him because he was bored so I had to get blunt with him. It was awkward for a while. Then I took a temazepam and went to sleep so that was ok. Also, the food on Finnair is quite good AND the seating is 2 - 4 - 2, which is great - except if you are one of the two and the other one of the two is a Lithuanian retard.

Movies watched so far:
-In Her Shoes. I cried so much, I don't know why. I was watching this while the kid was vomiting so it was probably a combination of the vomit and the movie.
-Hall Pass. This was funnier than I thought it would be but still not very funny.
-Say Anything. Still one of my faves, so sweet, so lovely. Lloyd Dobbler I would totally do you in your sky blue malibu whilst listening to Peter Gabriel. The reason I first watched this movie years ago was because of Ione Skye and my obsessive love for the Beastie Boys and her being married to "Adrock" etc. Wikipedia has just informed me that she is now married to Ben Lee. So...that's weird.
-What Happens in Vegas. This was a mistake, redeemed slightly by the presence of Jack Galifianakis. Let's not discuss this further.

I took this photo of Finland from the plane just now. It is a really, really pretty place:


Flying to Stockholm now for a couple of days of midsummer festivities and then the conference.

Peace out forevs.

#ashcloud

So I was meant to fly out of Adelaide on Tuesday which was frustratingly delayed by that dumb ash cloud from Chile doing it's SECOND trip round the world. Bit selfish really, as I can't even get to do one.


So I'm re-booked on a flight out tomorrow. I've been obsessively refreshing the Qantas twitter account and *so far* everything seems fine but really WHO EFFING KNOWS? At the mercy of mother nature and all that. Assuming I get out tomorrow, my next blog post will be a series of photos demonstrating the excellent time I am having that you are not having and all the great foods that I am eating that you are not eating.

Also, I really hope 'Bridesmaids' is showing on the plane.

SWEDES AND YANKEES

Does anyone know anything about Stockholm? I'm going there next week because of my aforementioned super excellent job and I have heaps of free time. This is my list of things to do so far:

1. Obvs go shopping at Acne.
2. Obvs go shopping at 5th Avenue Shoe Repair.
3. Obvs go shopping at Cos.
4. Visit the Stockholm Public Library because look at it:

5. Go here: Snickarbacken7
6. Here (the gift shop looks particularly awesome): Moderna Museet
7. And here: Arkitektur Museet

Any other recommendations very welcome. Particularly fun places to out and 'get wasted' and such. I'm also going to NY after for a week (more work) and have heaps of free time there and with the AUD being all tough n shit I AM JUST GOING TO GO SHOPPING A LOT.

glass table girls

So obsessed with this of late. You can download the full album for free here:
http://the-weeknd.com/